Hey, you kids! Don't be bad outside my store!
嘿 孩子们 别在我店外面捣乱
I keep a nice store!
我好不容易把店经营得这么好
Give it up, old man! We're just cool, bad kids doing young stuff!
省省吧 老头 我们只是一群很酷的坏小孩 在做年轻人的事情而已
You guys wanna do more skateboard moves?
你们想再试试再来玩点滑板技巧动作吗
- Which ones? - The rad ones, that's which!
- 哪种动作啊 – 就那种啊 那种很牛逼的
How are you kids?
你们好呀
Did you know your grandpa's tryin'a get your attention?
你们知道你们的外公想要引起你们的注意吗
Yeah, yeah, screw off, weirdo.
嗯 知道啊 让他滚蛋吧 怪人一个
"Grandson," what's that mean?
外孙 这啥意思啊
He's one of those cult people.
他就是那群搞邪教的人的其中一个
They worship some psycho named Roy that says he's everybody's grandpa.
有个人叫罗伊 他说自己是所有人的外公 那些人信奉的就是这么个神经病
So, what do you want to do today?
所以 你今天打算干嘛
Eat some snacks and maybe let me kiss you finally?
吃点零食 然后最终让我亲你吗
You know, with my mouth and stuff?
你知道 就用我的唇齿填满你的嘴
This is going on right now. Let's go check it out.
这个邪教现在正在传教 我们去仔细看一看吧
- Aw, geez. - Come on, just for fun, you know?
- 噢 老天 – 来吧 就当找点乐子看一看 怎么样
No, that's not what I'm... You guys keep thinking I'm a religious leader.
不 那又不是我想 你们一直认为我是宗教领袖
This isn't a religion,
但我没在传教
this is actual truth. I'm a scientist in real life.
我说的是事实 我在真实世界是一名科学家
But this isn't real life, this is a video game.
但你们现在并非活在真实世界里 你们在电子游戏里
You at least understand that much, right?
你们都有理解到我说的话 对吧
This is a video game?
就我说的电子游戏的这些
But you said, I'm your grandson.
但你说了啊 我是你的外孙
I'm saying everyone is. Everyone here,
我说的是你们所有人 除开我之外
everyone in this world but me.
所有身处这个世界的人都是我的外孙
You're all my grandson, your name is Morty
你们都是我的外孙 你们都叫莫蒂
you're stuck in a video game and I'm here to get you out.
你们被困在一个电子游戏里了 我是来这里把你带出去的
What about me? Am I your grandson?
那我呢 我是你的外孙吗
I just said everyone is!
我都说了 所有人都是
- Wow! - Incredible! - Okay, but don't react like that, it's not a religion.
- 哇噢 – 牛逼啊 - 好吧 不过你们没必要这个反应吧 我又不是来传教的
This is what is happening.
事情是这样的
You and me and your sister are at an arcade called Blips and Chitz.
你 我 还有你姐 我们来到了一个 叫必利浦斯和奇茨的电玩城里
It's been taken over by terrorists.
一群恐怖分子把这占领了
The power went out, the game restarted
接着停电了 游戏就重启了
and your identity has been splintered into all the non-player characters.
然后你的意识就被分散着输入到了所有的NPC身体里
So, I jacked in as Roy, that's the player character
所以我就用了玩家的身份进入游戏 也就是罗伊
to get you, my grandson, Morty out of the game
来把你 我的外孙 莫蒂 在这个游戏结束
before it's over and you die.
而你也要死掉之前 把你带出去
Okay, question over here.
好了 说出你的问题
- Am I your grandson? - Jesus! Yes!
- 我是你外孙吗 – 及瑟斯 当然是啊
Every single one of you is one-five billionth of Morty.
你们这50亿人里的每一个 都是莫蒂
All of you, collectively, are Morty.
你们所有人 凑在一起 就是完整的莫蒂
Look, I don't wanna seem impatient
听着 我不想表现得特别急躁
but there's actually a lot more that we have to get done.
但是还有很多的事情等着我们去做
So, if this is how hard it's gonna be, we are in a lot of trouble.
所以 要形容一下这些事的困难程度 那就只能这么说 我们有大麻烦了
Summer, what? I can't do this if you keep bugging me!
干嘛 夏茉 如果你一直把我拉出来的话这事就做不成了
Do you understand time dilation?
你明白时间膨胀效应吗
I'm losing a month a second out here.
这里一秒钟 里面一个月
There's an alien army shooting people. What am I doing?
但是这有一整支外星军队逮人就射啊 我该做什么
It's a small group of alien terrorists. Just do a Die Hard.
他们就只是一小撮外星恐怖分子罢了 像虎胆龙威那样就行
- What does that mean? - Sneak around, use air vents.
- 那是什么意思 – 用你的潜行技能 爬爬通风管道啥的
You've never seen Die Hard?
你难道没看过虎胆龙威吗
I'm 17. No, I've never seen fucking Die Hard!
我才十七岁啊 没 我从没他妈的看过虎胆龙威
Well, neither did the guy in Die Hard so you're nailing it.
虎胆龙威的主角也没看过这片 所以你能搞定的
Good luck!
祝你好运
- Larry... - No, I'm at the end of my rope with this kid, I swear to God.
- 拉里 – 对天发誓 我真是再也忍受不了这孩子了
Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
噢 你没搞错吧
- Your beautiful hair! - This is not a daughter's haircut!
- 你那头秀发啊 - 这不是女儿该留的发型
I'm not a daughter, I'm a grandson.
我不是女儿 我应该是一个外孙
Your family had a perfectly fine religion!
你的家人已经信奉了一个好到完美的宗教了
You were raised Jewish!
你是在犹太教家庭里长大的
Dad, tell me anything specific about being Jewish.
爸 把犹太教的细节内容和我说说
There's a million things!
那简直就有成千上万条啊
You go to the temple with the... the special hat, the falafafluten.
你和我一起去庙里 还戴着那顶特别的帽子 叫法拉法鲁腾
Oh, the falafafluten?
噢 法拉法鲁腾是吧
Our Jewish words are gibberish because we're a 14-year-old boy
我们的犹太教词汇量根本是胡编乱造 因为我们只是一个14岁的小孩
who was raised non-denominational Christian and we're in a video game!
而他是在非宗派基督教家庭里长大的 而且我们现在身处在电子游戏里
I don't need to hear his schmoitenheiven!
我不需要再听到你这种石墨伊藤海文
Let me ask you this little Miss grandson
让我来问问 你这位外孙小姐
little Miss video game character.
游戏角色小姐
If you're not my daughter
如果你不是我女儿
why stand in my house spouting this chatschkopfka?
那你为什么站在我家里 满嘴喷这些查奇克普卡夫
- Why even live here? - Good question.
- 为什么你甚至还住在这里啊 - 问得好
There she goes! My daughter!
我的女儿 她就这么走了
One-five billionth of a kid trapped in a video game!
50亿个人的意识聚集成的一个孩子被困在电子游戏里了
Yeah, that and a college degree will pay the rent!
是啊 光靠这想法再加上你那大学学位就能付房租了呗
What do you people want?
你们想要什么
We have many interests.
我们想要的东西挺多
But right now, my primary one is the location of your safe.
但是现在 我最想要知道的就是你们的保险箱放在哪里了
We exchange tokens or digital currency.
我们都是用游戏币或者电子货币的
We don't have a safe...
我们没有保险箱
Correction, what you don't have is a head.
纠正一下 你应该是没有脑子才对
Is this a weapon or a medical tool?
这到底是武器还是医疗器械啊
Why would you give me a gun with a laser that thin?
为什么你会给我一把雷射光束这么细的枪
Did you hear me? Tell him he wouldn't have a head!
你有听到我说话吗 要让他头没了这事落到实处啊
He's dead, isn't he?
但是他不也死了吗
People die in surgery.
人们也可能会死在手术中途啊
Hey! Don't touch me! I don't like being touched!
嘿 别碰我 我讨厌有人碰我
Check the hostages.
检查下人质情况
Make sure nobody else here is doing a Die Hard.
要确保只有我们在按着虎胆龙威的剧情行事
Hello, hello, hello. My name is Morty.
你好 你好 你好哇 我叫莫蒂
- I'm a 14-year-old boy in a video game. -Yeah! Aw, geez!
- 我是个十四岁的男孩 身处在游戏中 - 噢 老天
Yeah. Look. I feel like every time I explain this, I lose followers.
– 好吧 听着 感觉我每次一解释 信徒就会变少
But this isn't a religion.
但我又没在搞宗教
And while I do have a message from a world beyond this one
我真有从外面的世界带进来的消息
and I do need the entire world to hear my message
我必须要让这个世界的每一个人都听到这条消息
what I do not need is any more songs about it.
我完全不需要的 就是你们再用这件事来写歌
Not in this genre. I'm an old-school hip-hop man.
至少别写这种风格吧 我听歌是听老派黑泡风格的
And, no, that's not an invitation for you to try it
但是 别 别把这当成你们可以写这种题材的意思
because I'm just gonna say it.We're missing the mark on diversity.
因为我要说的是 你们的创作风格不够多元化
Get down! You're all under arrest for being religious the wrong way!
趴下 你们因为进行不当的宗教活动被捕了
It's not a religion! You know what, just shoot me.
这不是宗教 算了吧 你向我开枪吧
You think your god makes you bullet proof?
你认为神会让你刀枪不入吗
There isn't even a god in the real world, you fragmented putz.
在真实世界里 神压根就不存在 你这意识碎片笨蛋
There's extra no god in here.
所以这里就更不可能有神了
You know what, hippy? Talking like that is why you're getting shot!
你知道吗 嬉皮 你会被射杀的原因就是你说这种话
If you kill him, the game ends and we all die.
如果你把他杀了 游戏会结束 我们都会死
- Get down, lady! - I'm not a lady.
- 趴下 女士 – 我不是一位女士
And you're not a soldier.
而你也不是一个士兵
We're one person, split into a lot of little pieces.
我们是同一个人 而这人被分裂成了好多块碎片
You feel me, dawg?
你懂我意思吧 朋友
You're not gonna hurt me. You're me.
你不会伤害我的 因为你就是我
My name is Kevin! I'm a Marine!
我叫凯文 是海军陆战队队员 我三十岁了
I'm 30! I'm a little racist but my best friend is an immigrant
我有点种族歧视但是我最好的朋友是移民
that translated for me in a generic overseas war!
他在一次海外战争里给我当翻译
That's not true.
这不是真的
We're 14, we like pizza and masturbation.
我们十四岁 我们喜欢披萨和打飞机
We wear a yellow shirt
我们穿着黄色的T恤
and we have hair that looks like a brown helmet.
而我们都留着像一个棕色头盔那样的发型
And we miss our family.
我们都想自己的家人
And we're in way over our heads again.
而我们又都身处在一场关乎大脑的危机中
- Why's this always happen, man? - I know, right?
- 为什么我们身上老有这种事啊– 是啊 是吧
- Aw, geez. - Aw, geez. - Come here. - Aw, geez...
- 来吧 – 噢 老天啊 - 过来抱抱 – 喔 老天啊
- Who is that? - Her video game name is Marta.
- 那是谁啊 – 她在游戏里的名字叫玛塔
Okay. See, this I can work with.
好吧 看 有了她事情就好解决了
"Sneak around. Crawl in some vents. Do a Die Hard."
偷偷摸摸 在通风管道里爬行 像虎胆龙威里那样
Oh, my God, it's disgusting!
噢 老天啊 好恶心
Actually, it tastes really good.
不过讲真 这还挺好吃的
Oh, my God, it's disgusting that it tastes good!
噢 老天啊 这东西很好吃这件事真恶心
Frank, have you found him? Report.
弗兰克 你找到他了没 请回复
Oh, walkie-talkie. That's Die Hard.
喔 对讲机 虎胆龙威的套路
Don't have to see it to know that.
就算没看过也看得出来
This is Jons. I repeat, have you found him?
我是琼斯 再问一次 你找到他了吗
Breaker, breaker. Walkie-talkie
中断对话 中断对话 对讲机
I got your walkie-talkie, bitch.
贱人 你们的对讲机落在我手里了
- Are you doing a Die Hard? - Maybe?
- 你也在学虎胆龙威吗 - 也许吧
Are you also?
你也在学吗
More or less. And my associate, Frank?
或多或少吧 我的手下弗兰克人呢
Your associate Frank is definitely not doing a Die Hard.
你的手下弗兰克绝对没在学虎胆龙威
You might even say he's doing a "Die Easy."
说他在学兔胆兔威也不为过
Because I killed him and it wasn't difficult.
因为我把他杀了 而且杀他挺容易的
Calm yourself, Winslow.
冷静一下 温斯洛
Winslow!
温斯洛
It's not every day one meets a fellow Die Hard enthusiast, Miss...
遇到虎胆龙威的粉丝不容易啊 该怎么称呼你呢
- Call me "Die Hard." - Okay, "Die Hard."
- 叫我虎胆龙威小姐 – 记住了 虎胆龙威
Tell me, what do you know about... Die Hard?
和我说说 你对虎胆龙威有什么了解
What do you care?
你在乎这干嘛
You writing a book about Die Hard?
难道你在写一本关于虎胆龙威的书吗
As a matter of fact, I've written several.
事实上 我已经写了好几本了
Every sentient civilization across the galaxy eventually develops the same myth.
每一个能够从外界接受信息的星际文明 最终都会创造完善出同样的神话
In Centauri, it's known as "Tower Man."
在半人马座 这个神话名为 高塔人
The Orionese have their "Thornberg Cycle."
而猎户座的人则把这个神话命名为 桑博格循环
And in Andromeda, it's called "Foolish to Have Imagined You'd Be Able to Kill."
在仙女座 人们也称这个神话为 想象自己能够杀人这事也太蠢了
All of them what you'd call Die Hard.
这些其实都是虎胆龙威的一种表现形式
The difference being that cultures like mine are aware of its importance
而这些文化的差异就是 有些文化 就像我的文化 能够意识到它的重要性
whereas I'm starting to doubt you could even recall a single line.
同时 我也开始质疑 你甚至连一句虎胆龙威的台词都记不得
Walkie-talkie Die Hard, motherfucker.
对讲机 虎胆龙威 混蛋
Not so long ago Grandsonism was being dismissed as a doomsday cult
不久之前 外孙教还被认为是一种宣扬末世理论的邪教
but since a majority of the world decided, "Hey, you know what?
但由于世界上的大部分人都这么想 嘿 你知道吗
We like jerking off and playing video games
我们喜欢打飞机和打游戏
and our sister is out there fighting terrorists", major strides have been made.
我们的姐姐在外面的世界对抗恐怖分子 事情就变得很不一样了
The world is united because the world is one 14-year-old boy, Morty.
世界上的所有人都联合起来了 因为大家都是一个14岁的男孩 名叫莫蒂
But where is it all coming from?
但这一切都是怎么开始的呢
Some say Grandsonism's leader, Roy
有人说是因为孙子教的教主 罗伊
has a secret base somewhere in these mountains.
在这些大山之间的某处 安置了一个秘密基地
I couldn't find it.
我找不到它在哪
So, I'm standing in the general area with a microphone.
所以我只是拿着麦克风站在这块可能的大致区域里
For Good Enough News, I'm Tony.
以上 够好新闻 托尼为您报道
There she is, my right-hand Morty.
她来了 我的左右手莫蒂
- Got enough spaceships? - Not yet.
- 做好足够的宇宙飞船了吗 – 还没
Not yet. I figure five more years of game time
我感觉再需要五年的游戏时间
before I can take the whole fake population into fake outer space.
就可以把这些假人口带到外太空去了
What do we do in outer space?
我们要在那里做什么
Nothing. It's fake. We keep going.
什么也不做 那都是假的 我们一直往前飞就行
The game's map has edges
这游戏的地图是有边界的
but the game's engine will let us go past them.
不过游戏引擎会对我们放行
That will force the game to reset,
然后游戏会被强制重启
but first, it will kick us out,
但在那之前 我们会被踢游戏
which Morty should survive.
莫蒂也应该会因此活下来
I mean, whatever amount of Morty we have onboard.
我是说 无论我们带走了多少数量的莫蒂结果都一样
So, if you don't have five billion handkerchiefs soaked in chloroform
所以 如果你没有五十亿条浸了氯仿的手帕的话
I hope you can keep flipping idiots to our cause.
我希望你能继续说服那些白痴相信我们
They're not idiots, Grandpa. They're me.
他们不是白痴 外公 他们是我
You'll know how funny that is when we get back.
等你回到现实世界你就知道这有多搞笑了
By the way, I had your genius of a father picked up.
顺便跟你说一下 我把你的天才老爸接来了
- He's over there. - What? Why?
- 他就在那 – 什么 为什么啊
I thought you'd be grateful and less distracted than if I let him die.
因为我觉得如果我把他接来 你会感激我 也能少分点心
He's been in real bad shape since he lost his wife.
自从丧妻之后 他的状况就很差
- My mom? - Your not-at-all-real mom.
- 我妈吗 – 你一 点 也 不 真的妈妈
A mom in a video game.
游戏里的妈妈
Occupied by a tiny fraction of yourself.
被你的一小部分思维所占据
A fraction of yourself which is now dead forever
现在这一部分的你已经永久地死去了
and fractions add up, so I had your dad brought here.
而其他那些小部分是要凑在一起的 所以我把你爸带来了
You're welcome, you heartless monster.
不用谢 你这个没有心的小怪物
Marta, it's me, Dad.
玛塔 是我 你老爸
I converted for you.
我为了你改信这个教了
My name is Morty. So is yours.
我叫莫蒂 所以你也叫这个名
And there's no conversion, we're both Morty, it's a fact.
改信宗教的事情根本不存在 我俩都是莫蒂 这是事实
Sure, honey, anything you say.
好的 宝贝 你说什么都对
I don't want to fight. I'm proud of you.
我不想和你吵架 我为你感到骄傲
Are you mad at me because before you became the world's most powerful woman
你是在生气吗 因为在你成为世界上最有权有势的女人之前
I shamed you for your haircut and called you a slutty jobless hobo?
我羞辱了你的发型 还骂你是没工作的荡妇流浪汉吗
If I were you, I'd be a little mad about that.
如果我是你 我也会有点生气的
You are me and why would I be mad at myself?
你就是我 我为什么要生自己的气啊
Good point! Is there anything to eat around here?
说得好 这里有啥吃的不
There's a kitchenette in the break room.
休息室里有个小厨房
Oh, a kitchenette you say, such red carpet treatment.
喔 小厨房是吧 真是红毯明星一般的待遇啊
- Excuse me? - I said thank you, I love it. We...
- 你说什么 – 我说谢谢 我很喜欢 我们
We're all part of Morty!
我们都是莫蒂的一部分
Some of us more important parts than others...
而有些人所属的部分就是比另一些人的更重要
Man, the part of me that's my father is a twat.
老兄 我父亲所属的那部分莫蒂就是个傻逼
That's also gonna be funny when we get back.
等我们回去的时候你也会觉得这事情很好笑的
Next time you try to do a Die Hard...
下次你要学虎胆龙威套路做事
don't hide under a long table like the guy from Die Hard.
记得别像虎胆龙威的主角一样 躲在一条长桌下面
Okay, I won't.
好的 我不会的
I thought you said she doesn't know how to do a Die Hard!
我想你说过她不知道怎么学虎胆龙威的啊
- She doesn't. - She's killing us off one by one!
- 她确实不知道 – 可她在把我们一个接一个地杀掉啊
What do you expect her to do?
那你觉得她还能做别的事情吗
Buy us each an ice cream, two by two? She's improvising.
难道是给我们两个接两个地买冰激凌吗 她这是即兴发挥
Which is how she's going to fall right into our trap.
正是因此 她就要掉入我们的陷阱了
I'm going to wander the arcade unarmed
我打算手无寸铁地在游戏城里闲逛
and when she comes across me, I'll pretend to be a hostage.
当她经过我旁边的时候 我就假装自己是人质
And because she hasn't seen Die Hard
因为她没看过虎胆龙威
instead of handing me an unloaded gun
比起直接给我一把没子弹的枪
she'll hand me a...
她会递给我一个
Die hard... die hard!
虎胆龙威 虎胆龙威
What the hell was that?
你说的什么鬼
Die hard... die hard!
虎胆龙威 虎胆龙威
You can't just keep yelling "Die Hard" into a walkie-talkie and...
你不能一直对着对讲机大叫虎胆龙威的你 而且
She threw her walkie-talkie away!
她把自己的对讲机丢掉了
She hates Die Hard
她讨厌虎胆龙威
which makes her the ultimate McClane.
她就是真正的麦克莱恩
Forget everything you know about Die Hard...
忘记你脑子里所有关于虎胆龙威的事
and just go shoot that bitch!
直接对着那婊子开枪吧
Thank you for meeting with me, Mr. Roy.
感谢赏光与我见面 罗伊先生
Half the country hangs on your every word.
这个国家里有超过半数的人把你的话奉为圭臬
Heck, most of the world.
该死的 应该是世界上的大部分人
You're like kind of a pope, I reckon.
你在我看来就像教皇一样
I'm not a pope because it's not a religion.
我不是教皇 因为我根本没在搞宗教那一套
We're literally in a video game.
我们是真的身在电子游戏里
I've heard the message, Roy, you're not on the clock here.
我已经听到你说的信息 罗伊 你就别在这传教了
So, you want every single person on a spaceship but you got a bunch of holdouts.
所以你想要这个世界的每一个人都搭上太空船 但有些人坚决反对上船
Maybe people that prefer their leaders a little more elected.
也许人们就是更喜欢他们的领导是票选出来的
Right, your voters.
是的 你的选民们
People that like being told what to do
他们就是喜欢听从他人指示做事
but don't like admitting it.
但他们不愿意承认
Yeah, not sure I'd put it that way.
是啊 不过我好像不是这么说的吧
I'm sure you'd put it a stupid way.
我确定你用的是很蠢的方式表达你的意思
I told you this was a waste of time.
我都说过了 这就是浪费时间
I've got 92% of you ready to vamoose.
我已经说服了92%的人离开
We're not gonna get to the rest by making deals with parasites.
光靠和寄生虫做交易是搞不定剩下那8%的
Mr. President. Roy is Rick. He's not us.
总统先生 罗伊是瑞克 他不是我们
You and I, we're Morty.
至于我和你 我们是莫蒂
Is that really so hard to believe?
你就这么难相信这件事吗
Kid, I've known it and I've believed it longer than you have.
孩子 我早就知道了 而且在你相信这些很久之前 我就已经信了
We both became video game characters at the same moment
我俩是在同一时间变成游戏里的NPC的
but I knew the truth before you dropped your skateboard
但是在你把滑板扔了去参加第一场邪教宣讲会之前
and went to your first cult meeting.
我就已经了解到这个事实了
How do you think a guy becomes a president in this game, honey?
不然你觉得我是凭什么在游戏里当上总统的呢 亲爱的
By not paying attention?
难道是凭对周遭的不闻不问吗
Sorry to call you honey.
很抱歉用亲爱的来称呼你
I know we're both parts of a 14-year-old boy
我知道我们都是一个14岁男孩的一部分
but my part's old fashioned and vaguely southern.
但我所属的部分是老派且像有点南方人那样保守的
I'm confused. If you know Rick is real, why...
我懵了 如果你知道瑞克是真的 为什么
Why hold out? Because he's a rude, entitled cock!
为什么还要抵抗吗 因为他是一只粗鲁且自以为是的混蛋
He's here to save us!
他是来救我们的
He could've left the game and let us die!
他本来是可以撒手走人 任由我们死去的
- He's spent 50 years... - Fifty years, it's what?
- 他花了五十年的时间 – 五十年吗 那算什么
A couple hours to him?
对他来说不过几个小时吗
He refuses to leave without his grandson
如果外孙不和他一起走 他就不会离开
but what's grandson mean to him?
可外孙这词对他来说意义是什么呢
Sounds like it means butler.
听起来好像和管家是同义词
Someone to help Summer with her Die Hard
某个可以帮助夏茉完成她虎胆龙威任务的人
Whatever that means. I'll tell you what it doesn't mean.
管这话原本是什么意思呢 反正这个词代表的意思里
Fly fishing. A hug.
没有钓鱼和一个拥抱
A little appreciation for what is clearly a pretty decent kid.
也没有对这个听话的孩子的任何一点感激
At least the 8% of him that makes up the decent half
至少有8%的我们 组成了这个该死的国家里
of the greatest goddamn nation on the planet.
比较优秀的一半的国民
We're not a person to him yet. We're not Morty yet, we're divided...
我们还不是一个完整的人 我们还不是莫蒂 我们还没有合体
We're divided because some of us don't trust the guy.
我们还没合体就是因为我们中还有人不相信那个人
What happens to that part of us when we're all back together?
如果我们合体了 那那些不信任他的人会有什么下场
One Morty? Indivisible? Under a cranky old bag of dicks?
是完整合一 不可分割 永远要活在那个暴躁的老混蛋的阴影里吗
A man you can lock in a box with five billion pieces of
一个人能把自己和一个思想被分成50亿个碎片的男孩
his own goddamn flesh and blood for 50 goddamn simulated years
一起关在一个盒子里 虚拟世界都过了整整五十年啊
and never hear him say I love you?
那个人却从来没对男孩说过我爱你呢
Sorry, pumpkin tits. That dog don't hunt.
不好意思 小屁孩 我不吃这套
Want some heroin? It's a video game, might as well.
要来点海洛因吗 反正这是个电子游戏 无伤大雅的
Just about ready for launch, kiddo.
我们差不多可以发射太空船了 孩子
I can finally get outta these clothes.
我终于快要可以把这身衣服脱掉了
I don't have nearly enough pockets
这衣服的口袋压根不够用啊
and it'll be nice to have my own dick back.
而且如果我能重新真实地感受到丁丁存在那就太好了
You're fine leaving 8% of me to die?
就算把8%的我抛下任期毁灭也可以吗
It's not your finest 8%, Morty.
那8%又不是你最好的部分 莫蒂
And 8% of anything is expendable.
任何东西的8%都是可以被放弃的
8% of pizza is crust.
披萨的8%是披萨脆边
8% of the Snyder Cut was Batman dreaming.
扎导版的正联的8%是蝙蝠侠在做梦
I don't know what that reference is! We're in a video game!
我听不懂你玩的梗 我们现在在电子游戏里
Not for long, baby.
很快就不在了 宝贝
- I'm not leaving without all of me. - What?
- 如果还有人不走 我就不走 – 什么
Oh, no, let me crunch these numbers.
噢 别呀 让我算个数噢
8% of five billion plus one person...
50亿人的8%再加上一个人
My god, if you stay, it changes nothing.
我的老天噢 如果你留下 也不会有什么变化呢
Bye.
拜拜咯
If she's not going I don't think my country wants to go.
如果她不走 我觉得我的国民也不会想走的
Who invited you to chime in, monitor face?
谁让你插话的呀 屏幕里的家伙
Why give me a monitor if my opinion doesn't matter?
如果我的意见不重要 那为什么还要让我也出现在屏幕里啊
Your opinion isn't allowed to matter for the rest of us.
对我们这些人来说 你的意见不怎么重要
We're all a Morty.
我们都是同一个莫蒂
How many chunks of us are we supposed to give up?
我们具体要放弃多少块莫蒂的意识呢
Look, I don't know about you
听着 我不知道你是怎么样
but I was already taking a big leap of faith here.
但我可是已经赌上身家来了个信仰之跃
We're basically giving up our lives to become a tiny part of a stranger.
我们差不多放弃了我们自己的生活 把自己当成了一个陌生人的一小部分
- These lives aren't real! - Yeah, but they're longer!
- 这些生活都是假的 – 是啊 但它们却长过外面的时间
What is this, suicide by summit meeting?
你们在干什么啊 用开会的方式自尽吗
Everyone, stop!
大家 安静
Rick, I'll get every single part of me
瑞克 我会带着莫蒂的所有部分
to get on every ship and go with you.
登上太空船 然后和你一起离开
- Good. - But you have to tell us you love us.
- 行 – 但你必须和我们所有人说我爱你
I mean, at this point, even if he said it...
我是说 在这节骨眼上 就算他说了
w-w-what's with the pause?
这沉默是怎么回事
Screw you, wait for it!
去他的吧 等他说
- Holy war! - Holier war! - Holiest war ever!
- 圣战 – 大圣战 - 最圣战
Loyalist Evacucratic Grandsonistas laimed the seven new cities today
坚决支持撤离的外孙派今日又攻下七个城市
while the Stayputlican Contrasurgent Confederation
而反对撤离外孙派
of Dedication to Video Game Reality
则宣布效忠于游戏即现实联盟
invaded the territories of Mortopia, New South Saint Morty and Wemortyall.
他们入侵了莫托邦 新南方圣莫蒂 和韦莫蒂亚尔
In the end, what does it matter? Everyone's Morty.
到头来这一切又有什么意义呢 大家都是莫蒂
Nobody wants to die
没人想去死
and that's a hell of a reason to kill yourself
这理由对于自相残杀来说很充分了
but what can we do?
但我们又有什么可做的呢
Aw, geez.
噢 老天
You know you're my grandson and none of this is real!
你知道你是我的外孙 而且所有的一切都是假的
What are you trying to achieve? You're only hurting yourself!
你到底想要做什么呢 这样只会伤害到你自己
The only reason any of us matter is we're pieces of Morty!
最重要的那个原因就是 我们所有人都是莫蒂的一部分
You taught us that, Rick.
这是你教会我们的 瑞克
But you also taught us you don't care about Morty.
而你也让我们看到了 你不在乎莫蒂这一点
Here's how much I care.
我确实很在乎
If you don't stop blowing up my flying saucers
因为如果你还要继续炸我的飞船的话
I will exterminate every last one of you!
我会消灭你们留下派的每一个人
Anything it takes!
无论要付出什么代价
What do I have to say? I love and respect you, okay?
我需要说什么来着 我爱你 而且尊重你 可以了吗
Too late for talk, Rick.
现在说这个太迟了 瑞克
A robot. Of course.
当然了 是机器人
I'm not gonna risk dying
我不会在这游戏里赌上性命的
because if I die in the game
因为如果我死了
you go brain dead.
你就会脑死亡
You're welcome!
不客气
Better to die in Roy than to serve in hell!
死在罗伊游戏里总比死在地狱里要强
And what about Summer?
那夏茉呢
Do you not care about her?
你在乎夏茉吗
We gotta get back, Morty, we gotta help her.
我们必须回去 莫蒂 我们必须去帮她
You know what? Wherever she is I'm sure she's doing fine without your help.
你知道吗 无论她现在在哪 我都很确定 没有你的帮助 她也都搞得定
Oof. Jinx, anyone...
啊噢 害队友啦 有人
Should we finish the job, blow the place?
我们应该进行最后的任务吗 把这里炸掉
No, this can't end, not like this.
不 还不行 这一切不能就这样结束
Do you think I jinxed her?
你也认为我害了夏茉吗
Why aren't you shooting higher?
你们为什么不往高了射她
I don't wanna shoot the glass because...
我不想打到玻璃 因为
You don't have to not do things that were done in Die Hard.
你现在不需要 再像之前虎胆龙威那样行事了
You can shoot the glass. Shoot the glass!
你可以打玻璃了 给我打玻璃
Throw grenades! Do everything! Just kill her!
扔手雷 做能做的一切 给我把她杀了
Why are you here, Miss Die Hard?
你为什么还在这 虎胆龙威小姐
I want to know why you don't just leave?
告诉我到底你为什么要赖着不走
- Die Hard!- Aw, jeez...
- 虎胆龙威 – 噢 我的天
Wait...
等等
And then, what?
然后怎么样
And then, we help your sister do her Die Hard.
然后我们就去帮你姐 帮她完成虎胆龙威那部分
Too much. It's too much.
音乐有点过了 太过了
Oh, sorry.
噢 不好意思
I've got a special guest with me, Miss Die Hard.
我请到了一位特别来宾 虎胆龙威小姐
Or should I call you this guy's "sister"?
还是说我应该叫你 这个人的姐姐呢
- Mom. - Hello, dear...
- 妈 – 你好呀 亲爱的
- I'm joining the other side. - What. Why?
- 我加入另一派了 – 什么 为什么
I wanna live in the real world with Roy.
我想和罗伊一起去真实世界生活
I wanna help Summer with her Die Hard.
我想帮夏茉完成虎胆龙威的部分
His name is Rick
他的名字叫瑞克
and we have no way of knowing if your generation is actually part of Morty.
我们也无从得知 你这一代人还是不是莫蒂的一部分
Do you know how offensive that is?
你知道你的话有多冒犯人吗
It's parenting like this that pushed me into religious radicalism.
就是因为这种教养方式才会让我变成宗教激进分子
- Bye. - It's not...
- 再见 – 这不是
Not a religion. But, okay.
这不是宗教 但 算了
Ma'am. It's really not safe out here.
女士 这里真的很危险
Also, it's time.
以及 到时间了
Are we going on the spaceship now?
我们现在就要登船了吗
Pretty soon, Dad. Yeah.
就快了 爸 快了
Are you lying?
你在撒谎吗
You kind of said it with that tone in your voice that we use for dying people.
你现在说话的语调 是我们用来对将死之人说话的那种
I won't lie to you. You're dying, Dad and...
我不会对你撒谎 你就要死了 爸 而且
we're not leaving the video game.
我们不会离开这个电子游戏世界的
We're gonna live our lives out here.
我们要在这里生活下去
What? Why the fuck? Why?
什么 他妈的为什么 为什么
- It's more real here. - The hell it is!
- 这里更真实 – 他妈的当然了
My liver hurts! I'm old here!
我的肝脏疼死了 而且我老了
I want to be a teenage boy!
我想变回青少年
I want to jump around and do homework
我想要蹦蹦跳跳 还有做作业
and jerk off all over the place.
我想要到处打飞机
But, Dad. That's...
但是 爸 这事是这样
We would've been one tiny part of that.
我们本来确实可以成为那些事情的一小部分
In here, we get to be who we really are.
但在这里 我们才能活成真正的自己
Yeah, great. Dead.
是啊 好啊 活得都死了
I get to be a dead father. Who do I make the...
我要变成一个死掉的老爸了 是谁
- Who do I... Who... - Don't talk, Dad.
- 是谁 谁 – 别说话了 爸
- Gotta finish my zinger... - You don't...
- 我得把我的嘲讽开完 – 你不
Who do... Who do I... make the check out to...
是谁 是谁会帮我开支票
"Best Daughter Ever...
我最棒的女儿的
Incorporated?"
公司吗
本字幕由爱翻不翻字幕组制作，翻译Lucien，字幕制作Esteban，一切仅供交流学习，禁止一切商业使用。
Thought you woulda left by now.
还以为你不会等到现在的
I was hoping to get at least half of you home.
我撑不了多久了
I can't hold out much longer.
我快坚持不下去了
I'm pretty much beating my heart voluntarily at this point.
现在这个情况 我都是在靠意念来支撑自己的心脏跳动的
Okay, this is a little awkward
好吧 有点尴尬
but the time dilation has given me a chance to reflect. And...
但是内外时间差也给我思考的机会了 还有
- I gotta say... - There's no need for that.
- 我必须说 – 没必要说那些了
I've come to tell you, I'm giving the go-ahead.
我是来告诉你 我同意让大家走了
All of Morty will leave with you to the real world to be your grandson.
所有的莫蒂都会和你一起走 去到真实的世界 当你的外孙
May we help Summer do her Die Hard.
愿我们会帮夏茉完成她的虎胆龙威
I gotta say, I was not expecting that.
我必须说 我没想到你会说这些
Why the change of heart?
你为什么改变心意了
My people are staying only out of loyalty to me.
我的人民只是出于对我的忠诚才留下的
I'm a relic. I don't represent them anymore.
我是旧思想的代表 已经不符合他们的新思想了
You really are a good grandson, you know that?
你真的是非常好的外孙 你懂吗
- I'm proud of you, Morty. - Please, call me Marta.
- 我因你而自豪 莫蒂 – 请叫我玛塔
That's my video game name.
这是我在游戏里的名字
Speaking of which, I do have one condition.
说到这个 我有一个条件
I must say I admire you, Miss Die Hard.
我必须说我真的佩服你 虎胆龙威小姐
You were a genuine McClane.
你是一个真正的麦克莱恩
A most worthy yankee doodle ruffian
一个最值得尊敬的无赖美国佬
but now, it's all come to an end.
但现在 一切都要结束了
And the quarterback, as they say, is toast.
就像他们说的那样 你要完蛋了
I don't suppose you have a gun taped to your back?
我猜你应该没在你后背用胶带贴了一把枪吧
- What the hell does that mean? - It's how Die Hard ends.
- 那他妈的是什么意思 – 这就是虎胆龙威的结局
- Doesn't matter now. - Die Hard tapes a gun to his back?
- 不重要了 – 虎胆龙威的男主角在背后贴了一把枪吗
That's the end of your perfect movie
这就是这部 你整个犯罪生涯
that you've patterned your whole criminal life after?
都在学习模仿的完美电影的结局吗
Well, it seems to have worked out pretty well for me
好吧 但是它对我来说是好东西
since you're the one about to die.
因为你现在就要成为我的枪下亡魂
What was it you said? Ah, yes.
你刚刚说什么来着 啊 是的
"Walkie-talkie Die Hard, motherfucker."
对讲机 虎胆龙威 混蛋
- Why are you laughing? - Well, it's funny.
- 你干嘛笑 – 嗯 因为很有意思
The way you said "motherfucker."
你说混蛋时候的样子
- Just laughing. - Okay. It's just that....
- 只是随便笑笑罢了 – 好吧 就只是这样吗
Oh, does that happen in Die Hard?
噢 就连笑这事在虎胆龙威里也有吗
Does John McClane laugh and then Hans Gruber is confused
是约翰·麦克莱恩笑了 然后汉斯·格鲁博感觉很困惑
but then they start laughing together for a second...
接着他们一起笑了那么一会儿吗
That actually does happen, yes!
是的 真的有这剧情
Wait. You knew their names this whole time?
等等 你从一开始就知道这俩角色的名字吗
Not this whole time, no.
不 不是一开始就知道的
You left your book in the bathroom. I read it while I took a shit.
你把你的书忘在卫生间里了 我拉粑粑的时候把它当如厕读物了
I mean, mostly the ending.
不过我差不多只看了结尾的部分
...dippee doo, baby!
粑粑立大功 宝贝
Nice timing, Grandpa Rick.
时间正好 瑞克外公
Tochter aus Elysium...
来自极乐世界的仙女
Hi, remember me?
嗨 还记得我吗
You shot me on that table
你把我从桌子上打下来了
and the near death experience got me reflecting.
濒死体验引发我的思考
I didn't used to be like this.
我其实不用像这样生活
I... I ate a kid.
我 我吃了个小孩
It was dark and I thought he was a grown-up.
那时光线很暗 我以为他是个大人
Ever since then, I haven't eaten anybody at all.
从那之后 我就再也没吃过任何人
I think I was channeling all that pent-up eating energy into this job.
我想这份工作刚好疏解了我想要吃人的欲望
But now...
不过现在
thank you for freeing me.
谢谢你解放了我
Classic Tower Man. Almost too on the nose. Right, Morty?
经典高塔人的情节 差不多就甩我们脸上了 对吧 莫蒂
Sure. I mean, whatever you say, Rick. You know best!
是的 我是说 无论你说什么 瑞克 你都是懂最多的那个
I trust you implicitly.
我无条件信任你
- Is he all right? - Oh, yeah, he's fine.
- 他还好吗 – 噢 好 他很好
Got him all out, every last piece.
我把他的所有部分都带出来了
What's with the jacked-up Roy Machine?
这台坏掉的罗伊游戏机是什么问题啊
Shouldn't you be taking that to repairs?
你不是应该要把它拿去送修吗
Nah, special order.
不用 这是特殊命令
Some rich douche wants his last game to keep running.
某个有钱的蠢蛋想要让他玩的最后一局游戏一直运行下去
Hooked it up to an external battery, we're just supposed to store it.
他甚至还给游戏机装了外接电池 我们只需要把它存放起来就行
- Weird. - Yeah, and get this.
- 好怪 – 是啊 听我说
The game's still going but Roy's dead.
罗伊已经死了 但是游戏还在进行中
- What? - Yeah, he's just a corpse floating at the edge of outer space.
- 啥 - 是的 他现在变成了一具漂浮在外太空的尸体
But for some reason, the game won't restart
而出于某些不知名的原因 这游戏就是不重启
'cause it's centered on some old lady living a full life.
因为游戏的核心剧情已经变成了一个老婆婆的充实人生了
Sounds bad.
听起来不怎样
Well, put it in there.
好吧 把它放里面去吧
Hey, is anybody that wants this later gonna be able to...
嘿 如果未来有人想要这台机器的话
Huh? Oh, yeah, everything's cataloged and tracked.
哈 噢 没事 每个物品都有登记在案 也安有追踪器
People got the wrong idea from the size of the space
有些人看见我们这地方这么大 就总会像你这样想
but it's all supported digitally.
但这一切都记录在数字档案里的
So, I can put it anywhere. Here's fine?
所以 我可以随便放了 放这行吗
That's as fine as anywhere else!
放哪都一样
我恨所有人
Why isn't anyone attacking him?
为什么就没有人攻击他呢
- It's fucking freezing out. - No, I think it's the sign.
- 因为天气真他妈的冻死人了 – 不 我觉得是那标语
Well, the sign from Die Hard 3 was clearly racist.
好吧 可虎胆龙威3里面那个标语明显是种族歧视啊
Obviously, but I think we went too broad.
确实啊 不过我们这个是不是写得也太没针对性了
"Everybody?" I mean, who is that offending?
所有人吗 我是说 你这能冒犯到谁啊
Everybody?
冒犯到所有人啊
At this point, why even do it?
所以我干嘛还要做这件事啊
I wish my brother were still alive.
真希望我的兄弟还活着